As a Headteacher you are always striving to improve communication between yourself and your staff to build better relationships. Well I wonder if you have ever thought of speed dating. This is a creative take on a classic model explained to me by a primary school Headteacher in a recent coaching/mentoring session.

This Headteacher has recognised that the full involvement by all her staff is critical to the future success of the school. She felt that her staff was unable to approach her; this was mainly due to the culture that had built up in the school with the previous head directing, instructing and blaming rather than engaging with the staff to find out more about them and their needs. She was concerned that her staff thought she was unapproachable and aloof, in direct contrast to how she thought of herself – as open, reflective and a good listener. She had tried asking for input at staff briefings, had taken time to speak to people individually and had an open door policy but she still felt that the staff and she could do more to get to know each other and to help the process of building better relationships and to gain their trust.

With the support of her leadership team she planned the speed dating session the purpose of which was to allow the staff to ask any question they wanted to of the Headteacher. Over a three-day period she put notices up to get their attention:

• Would you like to speed date with your Headteacher?
• If you want to know more about speed dating your Headteacher then speak to a member of the leadership team. Ask whatever question you want to.
• Todays the day – speed dating with your Headteacher! Come prepared with your questions for your five minute slot

Each member of staff was allocated a five minute slot which was carefully timed. The staff member could ask whatever they wanted and the Headteacher would provide a response. When responding the Headteacher ensured that she kept her response to a minimum, she aimed at three short sentences and that she asked them what else they would like to ask. The session was as much about listening to them as about responding to their questions. Members of staff responded differently, some used it to:

• talk and tell the Headteacher what they were thinking.
• share ideas.
• find out more personal things about the Headteacher to get to know her better.

Some didn’t use all their allocated time and some could have gone on much longer.

To allow the staff to see a more friendly, less intimidating, side the Headteacher used a range of props to customise  each individual speed dating session – a bow tie, dangly earrings and a tiara for example and she offered each person a lucky dip selection at the end with a variety of small gifts and chocolates.

And was it successful? For this Headteacher, without a doubt, she speed dated every member of staff and gained some valuable feedback about how they were feeling, what was going on, what’s their most important issues at the moment. The questions asked were revealing in themselves as to whether they were personal (answered on the principle of how public do I want this information to be); critical of her decisions (answered as honestly as possible but with regard to confidentiality).

And would she do it again? Yes – but she would do it during a staff development day rather than during a regular meeting; she would allow more time with each person and she would do it out of school time for the TA’s.

So why not adapt speed dating for your own purposes and let us know how it goes so we can share your experiences with other Headteachers.

Thank you Lucy Falkner for writing another great guest blog.
Lucy is an Associate Coach at BlueKiteCoach and currently supports and challenges headteachers to grow in and around Kent.

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